And here’s the follow-up post. May 24, 2007

Now that I know, it is - quite obviously - impossible to un-know.  
 
Clearly no one meant any harm. Not my mom. Not M. Not my father. Not the Vicodin (ok, maybe the Vicodin).  
 
Throughout this process, save for some ring browsing (necessary, as I did not know how to answer the question “what kind of ring do you want?”), I’ve been putting my fingers in my ears and saying “LA LA LA LA” in hopes of protecting the element of surprise that is so dear (at least, to me) in this particular situation.  
 
I take solace in the fact that I still don’t know when, where, how. And last night, I made M promise that I wouldn’t find out until it was actually happening.  
 
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I won’t tell your mom.”  
 
I woke up this morning in an allergy-induced fog. Sometime in the shower, after the shampoo and before the conditioner, it all hit me. Like a seven year old who wakes up on December 25^th and, after blinking a few times, realizes that it’s not just any other morning. And just as that seven year old races downstairs to bask in video games and a skateboard from Santa, I raced (post-conditioner, post-soap, post-shaving of the legs as it is skirt season) into my bedroom, where my boyfriend was wrapped in a cocoon of blankets, and kissed him all over his face, basking in the glow of pre-engagement.   
 
Because now that I know, why not enjoy it a little bit? It’s no use pouting about how now it won’t be as much of a surprise. It never really was much of a surprise as I knew it was going to happen sometime before the end of August as August is when I will forever leave Roommateland and enter into LivingWithTheOneILoveVille. Also, I had a pretty good idea it would happen before the sticky weather sets in because M knows me well enough to know that I don’t want to get engaged in sticky, hot, humid weather (mainly because my hair + hot, sticky, humid weather = DO NOT TAKE A PICTURE, I DON’T CARE IF WE JUST GOT ENGAGED AND WANT TO CAPTURE THE DAMN MOMENT).  
 
Anyway, where was I? Oh right. Enjoying it. All throughout the day I’ve had little spasms of glee that start in the center of my torso and crawl throughout the rest of my body like dancing spiders on a mission (it’s the most accurate, if not the most romantic, description; shut up). The thing about me is, I’m great at compartmentalizing. So any disappointment that still remains has been banished to the furthest corner of my mind, locked in a windowless cell without even a tray of stale bread or a cup of brown water (take THAT, Disappointment!).  
 
It will still probably be some time before you get the close-up shot of the ring along with some sort of ridiculous all-caps headline in which I announce that it is official. (Although, I have a theory: M thinks that I think that now that I know he’s going to wait a while for the enthusiasm to die down. Taking that into consideration, he will probably ask sooner rather than later in order to extract the most shock value out of the situation, because I certainly won’t be expecting him to do it so soon on the heels of this recent revelation.) 
 
Anyway, between now and then, I’m just going to bask in the glow of my own little private Christmas, the sense of peace and jolt of excitement that comes with knowing that someone very special loves you and wants to make you theirs, forever and ever amen.