Was this really hard for everyone else? Because it was for me. July 31, 2007

Thank god for Molly and being tagged, mainly because, well, I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT (Writer’s Block: the birth of many a meme).  

I mean, really, the only other thing going on in my life at the moment is the fact that M’s front license plate got stolen and I am ANGRY about it, especially because he keeps getting tickets for a missing license plate when HEY COPS, IT WAS STOLEN BECAUSE IT IS A LICENSE PLATE SPECIAL TO PEOPLE IN HIS LINE OF WORK, A LICENSE PLATE THAT ALLOWS HIM TO PARK PRETTY MUCH WHEREVER HE WANTS WHICH, AND I DON’T KNOW IF YOU’VE NOTICED THIS, IS VERY VALUABLE IN MANHATTAN. SO MAYBE IF YOU WERE DOING YOUR JOBS INSTEAD OF WRITING DAMN LITTLE ORANGE TICKETS, YOU WOULD’VE CAUGHT THE BASTARDS RIPPING OFF HIS LICENSE PLATE EXCEPT YOU DIDN’T BECAUSE YOU SUCK AND WRITING TICKETS IS THE ONLY THING YOU ARE GOOD AT. 

Ahem.  Moving on. 

A list of Ten Things I Like About Me. Which is hard because, while I am brilliant – brilliant! – at picking myself apart, I am not so good at patting my own head and lovingly whispering in my own ear about just how awesome I am. You’d think, after all this time living with Roommate, that I would be pretty damn good at stroking my own ego, but no. So. Here goes. 

1. I have great nails. I’m not kidding. Almost every woman who has ever given me a manicure has commented on my nails. The nailbeds are nicely shaped, the nails themselves are strong, and there aren’t any ridges or white spots. Even my cuticles behave. Now that the main focus of my left hand is my ring, it’s nice to have a decent stage on which to display it, and that includes my nails.  

2. I am thoughtful. I’m the friend that will send you the perfect card for your birthday, one that somehow incorporates an inside joke, after hours spent scouring the selection at CVS or Duane Reade. I am the friend that will mail you a care package after your break-up, complete with homemade chocolate chip cookies, some booze, some expensive bath products and an ex-boyfriend voodoo doll. I remember birthdays and anniversaries and who had what job interview on what day. Hell, I’ve been known to send gourmet caramel apples to one’s office…just because. My sister was the envy of her roommates throughout college as she was always on the receiving end of a package from me, because I know that college students are broke and everyone is entitled to new clothes or make-up or delicious food once in a while. 

3. I’m not cheap. I have many friends who are. Friends who make six figure bonuses on top of their six figure salaries and will still compute, down to the penny, exactly what they owe for a meal. I am not that type of person and it comes directly from my parents, as they are the most generous people I know. They’ve been known to sit down at a restaurant, spot friends sitting across the room, and then ask the waiter to put the friends’ meal on their (my parents’) tab. I may not be that generous (but I also don’t have a Platinum AmEx), but I definitely don’t count my pennies and I will definitely throw in a few bucks if we come up short for the bill and I will pay for your manicure if you don’t have cash and then tell you to forget about it. And I’ll mean it.  

4. I’m helpful. New Yorkers get a bad rap, mainly because tourists come here, take one look at our “don’t fuck with me while I’m walking down the street” faces and report back home that everyone in New York City is mean and scary and by golly, Laura Dee, we are never leaving Alabama again! Except, most New Yorkers I know are very helpful, myself included. Even if I’m running late to work and I just spilled coffee on my white skirt and I have a meeting that I am under prepared for, I will still stop and help tourists who want to know where “the Times Square is?” (Most of the time I just say, “Look up. You’re here! Yay! Have fun!”) It’s part of working and living in Midtown. There are tourists everywhere, and Manhattan (especially the subway system) is not easy to navigate. While I do feel I should get some sort of “honorary tour guide” stipend from the city for how often I tell people what subway line to take to get to where they’re going, I truly don’t mind helping tourists. Or anyone for that matter.  

5. I’m very proactive. For example: I have a lot of anxiety, more than most people. I barely slept in my old apartment when I was alone because every sound – no matter how normal, how small – convinced me that someone was breaking in through the living room window after climbing the fire escape. I can’t tell you how many late nights turned early mornings I spent huddled under the covers in fear, watching Nickelodeon because it was the only channel that probably wasn’t going to have any commercials for scary movies, the lights on, drenched in sweat, fighting off sleep. I recently spent a sleepless Saturday night alone in my apartment and on Sunday I decided to do something about it. I went to Barnes and Noble and purchased “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. Amongst other things, the book teaches how to distinguish real, actual, you-are-in-danger FEAR from needless worry and anxiety. And, while it hasn’t taken away all of my fears, it has certainly lessened them. I’m good at that – taking action. If there’s something that’s bothering me or affecting my life, I will take steps to either lessen the effect or get rid of it entirely. That also spills over into being very proactive at work, which has certainly earned me accolades. 

6. I have a great body shape. It took me a long time to like myself. There were many years, mostly in high school, when I longed to be short and petite and all-around tiny. Guess what, I’m not. But when I’m slim and feeling good and working out, I have to admit that my body shape is kind of kick ass: I’m fairly tall, with an ample chest that tapers down to a small waist which then curves out again at the hips. Not the worst thing in the world. And, while my flat-chested or tiny friends can certainly wear things that I can only dream of, I tend to fill out clothes well and bathing suits even better. I’m always on a quest to lose some weight or feel better about myself but, when it comes down to it, I was blessed with a pretty awesome shape. The problem is, of course, keeping that shape in shape. 

7. I’m a baker. And a good one at that. I only started baking recently and, while my waistline hasn’t exactly benefited, my friends and family certainly have. I have a knack for following a recipe and am developing an knack for knowing when to hold back on some of the sugar or when a touch of cinnamon would be the perfect complement to a cookie. I love baking. I would bake even if I didn’t get to eat the finished product, so I’m thrilled that I turned out to be a pretty natural baker. A natural cook on the other hand? Um, yeah. No.  

8. I have a great fashion sense. Well, I was named Most Fashionable Girl in middle school but that was mostly because my mom also has a great fashion sense and always dressed me straight out of an Esprit catalog. However, over time, I’ve developed my own style and I must say that I am proud of my wardrobe, even if I occasionally have a war with it in the morning. Whenever a friend is going on a date or a job interview, she always asks to borrow something or if I can come over and put an outfit together for her. In fact my roommate took five of my dresses to Canada with her for a wedding this past weekend. Clearly I wish I was this talented at something like, oh, nuclear physics but still. There are worse things in the world than to be good at dressing yourself (or others).  

9. I’m super clean and neat. Windex and a roll of paper towels = my best friends. I just feel calm when things are clean and neat so I work to keep them that way (or, in the case of M’s apartment when we first started dating, get them that way). I don’t mind cleaning up after other people, so roommates of mine have always adored this little anal part of my personality. My desk at work is fairly spotless and people, if you ever come over and drop one of my freshly made cookies on the floor, don’t hesitate about picking it up and popping it in your mouth. My floors are so clean, they sparkle. You think I’m kidding. 

10. If I love you, you are one lucky individual. I don’t love with the equivalent of a limp handshake. I love strongly and with authority. Much like Molly, my closest friends and especially my family are people I would do anything for. Seriously, anything. M says that I have the biggest heart of anyone he’s ever met and while he has to say that because he’s my fiancé, I’m glad that the people I love know that I love them and know that I’d do anything for them. Especially my little brother. I once told him, when he was afraid to go on a trip, that I’d fly over there and get him and bring him back if he needed me to. You know I love you if I will VOLUNTARILY FLY SOMEWHERE for you.
 

And just in case you think that this is a little too “way to really pat yourself on the back there, Clink” just note that this took me forever, whereas a list of 10 things I don’t like about myself would’ve taken me under five minutes.

Also, I tag you. Yes, you.