I thought I was doing pretty well. If Bride-to-Be were a class, I’d surely be earning at least a B+, if not an A. I mean, it’s eleven months from our wedding and already M and I have secured the church, the reception site, the registry, the bridal party and the band. Not bad, right? I mean, I should probably start thinking more seriously about dresses and we do have to get all that stuff to the church that we’ve been too lazy to compile and my diet has been more like a non-diet and damn it I had an egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast today, but hey. All in all, I’m proud of us. Or, at least I was.
Then I talked to M’s friend from college, Emma, who is getting married a month after us.
Emma not only has everything that we have but she also has her dress, and her invitations, and her bridesmaids dresses and her florist and an appointment for her first hair trial in just a few weeks.
But that’s not even the most disturbing part. I mean, some people are overachievers and I’m okay with not being one. (Besides, the overachievers never had dates in high school.)
The most disturbing part is that, in order to get in shape for her wedding (please note: this woman is a size two, on a fat day), Emma wakes up at four thirty in the morning to go to the gym. That’s 4:30. A.M.
It’s okay, I’ll wait for a few moments while you pick yourself up off the floor, no worries.
You back? Ok good.
Because FOUR THIRTY IN THE MORNING? FOUR FUCKING THIRTY? IS SHE KIDDING WITH THAT? I WAKE UP FOUR HOURS AFTER FOUR THIRTY IN THE DAMN MORNING AND I THINK THAT’S TOO EARLY TO DO ANYTHING, LET ALONE GO TO THE GYM.
In a way, I admire her dedication. She (despite being a size two, did I mention that?) wants to look good on her wedding day, so she’s making sure that she does.
On the other hand, FOUR THIRTY? IN THE DAMN MORNING? (I’m a little afraid that all of you will respond to this post with “yeah, uh, duh Clink, we all go to the gym at four thirty in the morning, we’re part of an army of people slipping into gym clothes at four thirty in the morning, you hadn’t heard, you fat ass you?”)
I’m kind of inspired. I’ve never been a competitive person but hearing that kind of got my juices flowing. She’s out-briding me at the moment, but it’s still early, and that doesn’t mean I can’t pull a come-from-behind victory. Ok, I know this isn’t a head-to-head challenge for who can be the hotter bride and have the better wedding, but anything that motivates me to get turn off The Hills, put down the remote and go to the gym, is welcomed.
Except, I plan to be going at six-thirty in the evening because REALLY? FOUR FUCKING THIRTY?
Oh, and a job-related non-update: I haven’t heard yet and I feel so sick, down to the very core of my stomach, about that. I am literally staring at my phone, urging it to ring out of SHEER WILL. One of my references emailed to tell me that she gave maybe-future-boss a stellar recommendation, so that’s all I have to go on right now but GOOD FUCKING LORD this is so painful. I need some wine.
Ok, obviously she is super-bride. But you know what happens to super-bride? They become Bridezillas. And you, my dear, are not going to be a Bridezilla. And, you’re right on track. I think you’re going at a good pace. Don’t let the Valedictorian of Bridehood make you feel like any less of a bride.
4:30 is kind of insane but some people are morning people. Those some people don’t include me, but I hear that they exist.
Damn, I’m not even a bride and she makes me want to do better.
Can’t remember why,’cause I was already married but one time I went to a 5:30 (freaking) A.M. step class. I’ve been doing step for years before and after that memorable day but, you knew there had to be a but, at the (freaking) 5:30 A.M class was the only time that I ever fell during a class. It was also the only time I ever went to the first class of the day for anything.
I used to get up at 4:30 or 4:45 in the morning to go to the gym. USED TO are the key words there.
That was a few years ago. Now I drag my sorry fat ass up and I shower and go to work. Screw the gym. I was completely insane since I used to get up that early to arrive at the gym in time for it to open at 5am. And on my most gym diva days, I used to RUN to the gym and then workout.
Now? I just had a chocolate chip muffin and I feel pretty good.
I got at 6…I love sleeping and getting up at 6 is hard enough but 4….wow
I am not a bride nor anywhere close to being a bride, but I have to agree that 4:30 am is totally insane. Even the morning people I know (and of whom I am always slightly suspect) wake up at around 5:30. I can think of nothing more depressing than to wake up when it is still dark outside to go to the gym. Well, I can think of nothing more depressing than going to the gym, generally, but if we have to, at least not first thing in the morning.
By the way, I think you are definitely earning your A in Bride 101 - all of those things with 11 months to go!? I have been involved in the planning of many weddings and you are ahead of the curve!
That’s just sick. Really, really sick. I’m doing very well to get up any earlier than 645a to be to work at 8am (with a 40 minute commute). In the spring, as bikini season was approaching with lightning speed, I got up at 6am to workout at home. That lasted about one week.
Remember that the universe is cruel, and it always seeks equilibrium. This chick, this uber-bride, is practically guaranteeing last minute crises and possibly even day-of mishaps by getting her shit together so early. Worry not. You have stricken the perfect balance of on-top-of-it without tempting the universe to right itself.
Clink - take a sigh of relief, ’cause there’s few of us who wake up at 4:30am to exercise. I sleep in until 7:30 to be at work at 8:30. I’ve contemplated waking up sooner to include a workout, but I know myself. My body just doesn’t have the strength to do it. I’ve accepted that. It’s ok. Some people are just crazy…in a different way than we are, so don’t compare yourself to them.
I didn’t get dates in high school but 4:30am is crazy. You wake up and IT’S STILL DARK. That is nature’s way of telling you to stay in bed.
do you REALLY want to be the kind of person who lets their wedding take over their life? Especially to the extent that they wake up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to work out? Gimme a break.
Every bride I’ve ever known who had her wedding completely planned months in advance came to regret it, because the only thing anyone ever asks brides about is their wedding, and once it’s planned, it becomes incredibly boring to talk about.
Take it in stride and be whateverthehell kind of bride you want to be.
um, yeah 4:30 a.m.? i don’t think i’ve ever even seen what that looks like. i don’t blame you in the least! when i get engaged, my fiance better appreciate how i look because i definitely won’t be super-bride (good term Molly).
About the job, the one thing I know about these would-be employers is that they take their SWEET ass time. But your phone will be ringing any minute (or day) now.
4:30 in the friggin morning!???? I did fall off my chair. Where does she work that she has to be there that early. Or is she one of those girls that spends three hours at the gym? But I’m not anti-working out. I’m just more in the 6:30 - 7:30 wake up call to go to the gym. So what if you only manage 30 minutes on the elliptical? Better than nothing!
Oh and Clink? Pass the wine when you’re done.
Alright, I do workout in the mornings, but 4:30? Isn’t that kind of considered the middle of the damn night?! Actually, I just thought about it and my mom gets up at 4:30, but she works from 6-2:30 so that is sort of different. Also, homegirl is bed at like 9:15 every night, so it’s okay. 4:30 to work out is insane. I get up to work out at 6:10ish on most mornings and that seems crazy early. 4-friggin’-30. Sheesh.
And yeah, I’m with DG. Need wine. Preferably right now.
i meant to say i go at 6 am…whoops..
Clink…They don’t check references unless you’re in the running.
And seriously. 4:30 in the morning. That just sounds painful and almost unnecessary.
Overachievers may not have dates, but people that obsessed with their weight (especially when they needn’t be) have no lives. Don’t let it happen to you.
She must have to be in the office at like 7 or something ungodly. There is no other reason! When I get up at 6:30 for swimming I feel like a martyr!
Eeek, hope she is working out just to, you know, work out, because if she is that committed to being perfect for her wedding, it is hard to think the marriage could measure up. It still is just one day, you know.
uh yeah. i’d rather be fat. hahaha. and no! don’t turn off the hills!!! its sooo goood!!!
OMG! Clink, You and I got engaged on the same day! Congrats girl! And my wedding is in Oct ‘08. I was delighted this past weekend when we booked the venue,and decided to RELAX about the rest.
Now? FREAKING. OUT. AGAIN. Her dress? Her invites? WTF???
And Holy Lord, 4:30 AM?!?!! I don’t even wake up for SEX at that hour!
I remember being a bride.. (it’s been 10 months since my big day)
and trying to go crazy… and you will appreciate all the things that you do for yourself.. such as losing weight if that is what you feel you want to do… but just remember to really take a breath on that big day and look around. Make sure to take it all in, I know everyone says it… but it really does go by too quickly. Make sure to enjoy yourself.. 
I do my gym workouts after work as well. I’m pretty sure that getting up at 4:30 in the morning to go to the gym is on the job description for “Bridezilla.” And they say the most important thing about wedding planning is getting enough sleep. So we’re good. I hope.
Insane! I get up at 6 to go to the gym and that is the earliest I can handle. I don’t do after-work workouts because I have ZERO motivation after work and just want to go home.
Hey Clink,
I hate to be one of those people, and before the baby, there is nothing that would have gotten me up at that ungodly hour…but since she wakes me up to nurse (still! she’s 13 months!), and since the babyweight is particularly stubborn, I do get up at 0430 to do a ‘boot camp’ workout for an hour…it’s hell to get up, still, but when I’m done, I feel great and I also get a little bit of me time before she and the husband wake up…well worth the early wake up time.
4:30am?! unnecessary and uncalled for.