Dear The Sun,
Hi! It’s me! I miss you! Where have you been?
What’s that? On the west coast?
Ok, fine, whatever, yeah there are prettier people out there but you know what? They are sun whores. They get you all the time. All we’re asking is for a brief respite from this five-day, all cloudy, all the time, could-be-November-out-there bullshit.
Did you by chance get us confused with London?
Come back soon. LYLAS.
Xo,
Clink
***
Dear Interns,
You’re lazy. Not incompetent, but lazy. I just don’t understand the entitlement of your generation.
Yes, we work in TV. Yes, we work for a pretty cool company. Yes, it’s fairly relaxed around here. Yes, I am not that much older than you.
That, however, does not mean you can brush me off with a “yeah, one second” as you update your Facebook page when I ask you to help me out with something.
And yeah, I took it to the big boss. And, yeah, I was thrilled when he called you in and told you that if I ask you to do something, you should act as if GOD HIMSELF asked you to do something. And, yeah, I’m only here for another week but I’m enjoying the fact that you no longer walk around like you are the princes and princesses of this place.
I was an intern once too. And you know what? I worked my ass off. And I did it all with a smile. That’s why I am where I am right now. You should probably take note.
-Clink
***
Dear Family,
Welcome back from Greece! I missed you. I am jealous of your tans. I am sorry that the sun has taken a brief hiatus from this area. I can’t wait to see you this weekend.
Love,
Clink
***
Dear Future Husband,
You made last night so special: the reservations at our favorite place, the stop at Cold Stone afterwards, how you said that you are so proud of me and you get so happy when someone else (as in, my future boss) realizes how much I rock.
I love you more than you could possibly imagine. Think of how much you think I love you and then multiply that by eleventy thousand million trillion and then you’ll be somewhere in the ballpark.
Thinking about you still gives me butterflies.
Yours,
Clinky
***
Dear Reality Television,
You rock. For reals. Even when you break my heart, like you did last night, when Tre got kicked off of Top Chef and I kind of wanted to cry. Ok fine, maybe I did cry but Tre! So poised, so professional, so likable. He had one bad night and he gets sent packing but Howie, Mr. I Couldn’t Get My Frog Legs Plated In The First Episode, gets to stick around?
But Fashionista Diaries, last night? So good. And The Hills, even if I’m starting to suspect that it is, indeed, fully scripted? So good. And Big Brother? SO GOOD.
I’m starting to think we have a bit of a unhealthy relationship but I’m clearly not going anywhere anytime soon. Fall TV is right around the corner.
Kisses,
Clink
***
Dear Readers,
I am so sorry for this crappy excuse for a post. I’m all out of ideas and who really wants to hear me squee about my job, or bitch about how my mom thinks my registry isn’t well-rounded enough, or complain about how I have no motivation to go to the gym? No one, that’s who.
Feel free to suggest post topics. Otherwise, there might be more of this (*nods upwards*) to come.
Also, you look really skinny today, have you lost weight?
Best,
Your Clink
Hahahah LYLAS. Makes me want to write a note and fold it into a perfect square!
I don’t mind “filler” posts like this. Mainly because I occasionally write them too. In fact, I almost certainly will today.
Honestly though, when you’re such a witty writer, it doesn’t really matter if all you post are open letters
For supposedly having nothing to post about, I loved your blog today! Creativity at its best
And I did lose 5 lbs, thanks for noticing, lol.
Ok, Clink, I’m going to do two things here. First, I’m as big a fan of reality TV as you, but I just don’t get the Big Brother thing. I don’t. Someday, please explain. Perhaps over homemade oreos.
The second thing I’m going to do is say that guys do notice certain things. We aren’t all dumb as rocks and never notice things. And from what I’ve learned by reading here, your guy isn’t one of those guys and he would notice that on all letters you are are Clink, except on his…when you are Clinky. A nice little touch. It’s always the little things. Nicely done.
Yeah. I don’t think you exactly know what crappy post means, because if you did, you’d know that it obviously couldn’t be on any website that you’re writing on. That’s for sure. You rock. Hardcore. ..Dude.
We should trade places for a few days. We’ve gotten more than our fair share of stupid sun. In fact, as I write this, it’s in the process of turning my car into an oven. For me to drive all the way to work in. (We are lucky enough not to have an A/C.) If I could, I’d give you all of our sun. And we could take all of your cloudy, crappiness. Except that the cloudy, rainy, crappiness would totally make this place a sauna instead (Humidity’s a bitch)
I am actually a fan of books/novels AND posts that tell a story based solely on letters slash emails. And yes, I have been watching what I eat…*blush*
That wasn’t a lame post at all. In fact, I liked it. Sometimes it’s nice to read something in a different format.
Also, I concur with Molly on the LYLAS. It makes me want to make one of those paper fortune-teller things where you count and then open it that many times and then peek under the flap for who you’re gonna marry. Or play MASH. What a great game.
I think filler posts are important in keeping the momentum up. Don’t let that inner critic stop you from writing about things you think are stupid.
Tre’s gone?! Now I want to go home and watch this episode. I was kinda bummed when Sarah was kicked out but I guess so was nowhere near as competitive as the other chefs.
Re: interns. We have a few this summer that I can hardly believe are making it in college. How the hell you can be successful at a university but can’t hack a summer office job is beyond me. So, I feel you.
Re: The Sun. Girl, come down to Paradise. We have had non-stop sun and scorching heat for the past three weeks. I don’t have air conditioning in my house. I have not slept well in three weeks. If this heat doesn’t break soon, they’re going to find me writing “i’m burning up, please help” on my walls with crayon- while wearing only underwear.
I loved this post. It isn’t filler. It is an all around update.
Oh, and re: Big Brother: I ADORE BB. WH always acts like he hates it, and then gets mad when I watch a recorded episode without him.
oh those little square notes. and mash! does anyone remember the game thign where’d you spell out your full name and your crushes full name, then doing the whole “love marriage. friendship, hate” through each letter, and what it landed on was what you were, while the number total of how many letters you had in your name as compared to “i love you” (like- 2 i’s 3 l’s 7 o’s) was the percent of that? SO you could be like, 84% love…or 35% hate….no??? no one???
ahem. ok then.
and by the way, i totally noticed the clinky.
I can sympathise - I think the sun has confused London with Siberia.
I also noticed the clinky. cute. I’m glad he helped you celebrate this great accomplishment.
And I would love to hear you rave about your job! For all the time you spent stressing about it, you should get at least twice the time to squee about it.
I am feeling you on the reality tv. I’ve been taking it in all day from the couch where I lay dying of the flu or something like it that totally sucks. I am getting caught up on this season of Top Chef so this Tre getting booted thing is news to me and I think I am going to cry now. Seriously? Shrimp? With cheese grits? Wrapped in bacon? Served to drunk people late night on the street? Sign Me Up. Tre. A man after my own heart.
Also if you haven’t been able to eat anything other than soup and cereal for 48 hours, you should not watch Top Chef unless you just want to get pissed off. Thought you should know.
I’d like to hear more about what can make one’s registry more well-rounded. I will begin that challenge in the near future and could maybe use some advice.
What is LYLAS?
Also, I am an intern! Kind of. I hate that word! I’m not an intern in the traditional definition of intern, I think. But also? Most interns suck. They really do. Don’t you worry- I hide my facebook activity! Haha
I just found your blog, and oh my god am I thrilled to have found it. I just got engaged last month and our wedding is planned for November 2008 and I love that I can read all about your wedding planning (which is so much more advanced than mine!), and that you write so well about it.
So: hi.
When you get 16 comments on a “lame” post, you’ve officially made it.
By the way, I have lost weight. THANKYOUVERYMUCH.
I loved your letters! And OMG Top Chef! And Clinky for M? Too cute. F*** Interns. I feel ya sister!
A belated, but huge, congrats on getting the job!
It sounds fascinating, you’ve got me curious and I would also love to hear more about it!
This was a great post! I love the ‘letters’ format
I especially enjoyed the intern asskickings.
Little bastards.
re: post ideas…(although this too was brilliant)…I would love to hear about what got you hooked on reality TV. I too am a huge sucker for it; can’t get enough. Do you happen to watch Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels? That is another priceless show in my book…and the Hills and Top Chef 2 of my favorites!
I’ll have you know that London is an extremely sunny place today - fact
you’re a hilarious writer - ’squee’ letter post or not!
hi