I’m writing this on Sunday, because I won’t be in the office tomorrow, because I’ll be out doing something all important-like for my job and please take a moment to say a little prayer that I don’t royally fuck it up and expose myself for the fraud that I am. (Does anyone else feel like a fraud at their jobs? I keep waiting for them to expose me, because I can’t clearly be deserving of the money they are paying me and the title they have bestowed upon me…can I?)
No, they’re not from the Hooters next door because Hooters has many things but good wings is, sadly, not one of them. That Hooters has good wings is a tragic popular misconception:
“Oh, I’ll just have one.” One or, you know, seventy bajillion. Also: Coke Zero is the nectar of the gods, and that bowl came from Ikea, and I heart it with the heat of a thousand suns:
At least there were wings to bring me joy because the Giants certainly didn’t bring me any after getting crushed by the damn Packers:
Oh! And the living/dining area is starting to come together. You’ll notice that there are no more boxes in this picture, only M’s couches that I am learning to live with and M himself, reading the paper in his beloved lazyboy. Yukka plant Huey makes a cameo in the corner:
Yes, we still need a table. Yes, I am very picky. Yes, I arranged the chairs around a fake table. Yes, I am crazy.
I got the urge to bake. (Not shown: the other two trays.) The apartment still smells like chocolate chip cookies. My mouth is happy even if my thighs and my ass are all “fuck this bitch with her fucking cookies.”
Oh and my toe! Remember? From the other night? When the god damn toilet paper holder fell on it? It’s healing quite nicely:
Now I see why you quit your buff bride diary!!!!
I’ve been watching football all day and listening to Dan rave and attempt to give me high fives because his fantasy team is #1.
But on a sidenote, who knew the Texans would kick so much ass?
I am totally with you on the Hooters thing. McD and I eat lunch there fairly often, and he always gets wings, and I’m like dude, they’re just not that good. I do enjoy some Hooters and I’m not one of those people who’s offended by it, but I’m totally not a fan of their wings. I mean, not that you asked.
Also, you are not a fraud! Everyone has that moment at a new job when you’re thinking you totally oversold yourself and you’re just waiting to get busted for such at any moment. But no, you are not a fraud. You are COMPLETELY deserving of the money they pay you and the title they bestowed upon you. Believe!
Good luck tomorrow!
The apartment looks great! You even have… stuff on the walls! It took me over a year to get that far with my apartment. Actually, it took my fiance moving in to force me to get that far.
Also, not only is Coke Zero the nectar of the gods, but it is also the latest incarnation of calorie-free vanilla Coke. Thank God. It’s about time.
I’m with Jess on the Coke Zero Vanilla. If there’s anything richer than nectar of the gods, that’s it.
You know what I love about this? It’s the stuff that we see that you aren’t trying to show us — like the DVD set of The OC front and center under the TV.
Did I mention the time I met Billy Campbell? Not name dropping at all. But I saw him as he got ready to go around the world on a tall ship for a year. I’m not kidding. Weird.
Feel like a fraud? Absolutely.
Confession: when a customer asks me a question that I don’t know the answer to, I make an answer up. If I’m the Vice President and pulling this crap, that doesn’t bode well for the future of the company, nor for my intention to take it over. Meh well. I stick to the belief that confidence takes precedence over correctness when dealing with customer service.
I think I may be fooling myself.
P.S. I love your wood floors. L-o-v-e them.
Dude. That couch is fugly.
Yeah, the couch isn’t exactly beautiful. But on the brighter side of things, I adore the nail polish color. It even matches well with the bloody gash.
And my Phils won, so that made my Sunday.
Oh fear not, I have big plans for replacement couches in the near future. However, they’re comfortable and free which is enough to tide us over for the time being.
In the states you guys don’t seem to have President’s Choice (the brand. Its like store brand but lots of stores carry it. You’d think being a Canadian brand we’d have Prime Minister’s Choice, right?). Anyway but PC Diet Cola is the best beverage in the entire world and it’s SUUUUUPER cheap. And it tastes EXACTLY like coke zero. Should I ever return to NY I will smuggle you caseloads over the border, and then leave it in a random street corner at a specific time so you don’t have to reveal your identity. It’ll be worth it.
So it wasn’t just me who was haunted by a craving wings all weekend. I saw that picture load and almost had a food-gasm because I had to settle for chicken strips instead. I blame it on commercials during football.
Yes! I feel like a fraud and every time my manager asks to talk to me or emails me, I expect to hear, “You’re fired, Jack. We figured out you lied about being competent.”
But that feeling passes. Give it a few months when people suddenly start relying on you to provide something mission critical and you’ll see why they pay you so much.
That fugly couch looks just like mine
But hey, my couch is very comfy. Much more comfy than these designer couches which are all angular and stiff. I still feel kind of bad for dropping a grand on it.
Reading your post today made me very hungry.
Ow. That looks like it hurt! (your toe that is)
And now I have to bake this week. Because those cookies look so damn yummy
Darling, that couch reminds me of the one in the house I lived in during college. I will be happy when you get rid of it.
Also…NOT AT WORK? Which means no emailing?? My day is ruined!
You must stop talking about cookies! Now I will be tempted to bake those homemade Oreos AGAIN this week. Your blog is having a bad influence on my butt. I guess extra squats this week.
Good luck today!
I am going to spend the rest of the day curious about that “Sperm Blank” story on the front page of M’s newspaper.
Or at least until I see something shiny.
Love the phantom table photo : )
K, number one? Your toe looks owie and I hope it gets better soon. Two? Cookies, please. Three? I love that bowl from Ikea, and the fact that it made it into two shots! And four, ditto on the chairs without the table picture. That is so totally something I would do!
I’ve never eaten at Hooters and I secretly want to. I am all hormonal right now and would kill for any kind of wings. I never crave wings, but thanks to that delicious picture, I want wings. And chocolate chip cookies.
Also, that dining room picture cracked me up with the chairs all positioned around an imaginary table. Just please don’t tell us that you make M sit across from you with your plates on your lap and your drinks on the floor or anything.
Love your dining room chairs, they are hot! I love your floor as well. I got a cool looking love seat+chair that is totally not comfy, it’s hard to have the best of both worlds without spending a ton of money, lame.
Can I just applaud you for already putting up your pictures!?? C and I have lived in our apartment now for 16 months and still have “to be hung” items on the floor.
And cute toes!
Ooh…cookies. I’ve been talking myself out of making brownies for two weeks now.
I love your bowl, too, by the way. Beautiful thing, it is.
About being a fraud? I am the biggest fraud ever. EVER. I was in the right place with the right attitude at the right time, and I got promoted to a job that requires a bachelor’s if not a CPA, and I have a GED. I’m taking college classes, a half load at a time, and I have experience in accounting, and I’m smart and the accounting firm reviews my financial statements at the end of the fiscal year, and they think I’m great and my boss thinks I’m great, and half of my staff thinks I’m great but the other half hates me, because I am the biggest fraud ever in the history of frauds. I live in fear that the universe will wake up from a nap, check it’s clipboard and say “uh-oh. How did verybadcat end up with a job and a career and working on an education and a cute husband and a cute house? That’s a big fuck up, right there… How do we fix it? Let’s give her boss unmitigated proof that she’s a fraud and get it all taken away from her. Now, who is living under a bridge because of this screw-up, cause someone is due a bitchin’ life that verybadcat got instead……
So, yeah, I hear you. Fingers crossed.
Just found your blog through another…good stuff!
Anyway, now I am going to have to bake something with chocolate tonight [like that's a bad thing]. I can’t wait to hear more about getting used to moving in with your M because I just moved in with my BF this weekend and I like seeing how other couples handle it. =)
mmm cookies. how i love you so.
and chairs arranged around the imaginary table? you are too. cute!
I love, love your Ikea bowl! And the chairs around the ‘table’? Nice touch, I would totally do that!
I would totally arrange chairs around an invisible table.
Clink, if you don’t want ALL those cookies, you know where to find Molly, Mike and me…we’ll help!
My thighs and my ass are all “fuck this bitch with her fucking cookies” on a regular basis. lol I’m certain that good cookies are sent directly from Heaven.
Those couches….eesh. I’m with you on those. But the bowl is cute!
And I so caught the OC dvd set near the TV. Nice.
after discovering your blog two days ago, I have spent much of the past 48 hours DEVOURING your blog. I. LOVE. IT. as pathetic as it sounds, I have even been inspired to start my own after blog-stalking a few choice blogs for months now. but yours really tipped me over the edge. anyway, mainly i am commenting because… The OC Season 1 discs in said photo above? Yay! I’m not the only one that still displays those. (*crosses fingers disc-set isn’t a figment of my obsessed imagination*) That’s not the only thing I love about you, but I bet no one else noticed it (and was, um, cool enough to comment.) I NEED TO STOP. back to the boring job i go. have a great weekend!
Your commentary on the pictures is hilarious. I like the fact you put it before the picture not after. Makes it funnier.