I bought Spanx. Kind of by accident.
I was in the Bloomingdale’s hosiery section, having wandered away from M, who was in the process of choosing a winter coat in the men’s section. I can’t really shop with M as we take an opposite approach to spending money: I am impulsive, I go with my gut, I am able to make a decision on the spot (despite my usual Libra indecisiveness); M is a researcher, a comparer, a “let me think this over” shopper and hi, I have no patience for that.
So, the hosiery section. I was browsing the tights as I am currently on a bit of a tights kick (note that I said tights and not stockings because stockings are evil, the end).
I noticed a girl in the Spanx section. She was not what I would consider a traditional Spanx shopper (as in, isn’t Spanx for older women and not, like, taut twentysomething blondes with perky asses?) but there she was, stocking up.
She noticed me noticing her and the Spanx, gave me a confident smile and said “I’m obsessed.”
“Oh really? I mean, I’ve heard of them. I’ve just never…”
“Omigod. Here. This.” She handed me something called Higher Power. “It whittles your waist, your ass, your thighs…I mean, I don’t know where it all goes, but hey. I can fit into pants two sizes smaller when I wear it.”
And that’s pretty much all I needed to hear because did she just say two sizes smaller? As in, I could be a size two without stapling my mouth shut and spending eight hours on the elliptical? Sign me up.
I made the purchase quickly because, let’s be honest, even if a pretty, blonde, twenty-three year old stranger admits to wearing Spanx, it’s still kind of embarrassing.
I have yet to try them on. They’re still in the packaging, hidden in the bottom of my “work out clothes” drawer. I am still not convinced, though they may be dug out for wedding dress shopping because, well, you know.
I really should just get my ass to the gym. I should stop eating chicken parm for lunch (but! But! It made me feel better about being at work on a Sunday, after having been at work on a Saturday!). I should hunt down my former healthy habits, wherever they may be hiding, and force myself to get reacquainted.
In a way, I feel like I’ve let M down a bit. I know that sounds crazy.
When he met me, I was about fifteen pounds lighter than I am now. I was a bit of a stick, I’ll admit it, but I was a hot stick. The gym was my home away from home and I had trained myself to not even crave unhealthy foods, that’s how rarely I ate them.
And then it all went downhill as it does when you’re in love and happy and eating like a guy.
I don’t look overwhelmingly different, but someone who sees me naked everyday would definitely be able to notice a difference, as opposed to someone who only sees me clothed. I’m a bit soft where I used to be muscular, a bit filled out where I used to be svelte.
I know M loves me for me. He always tells me that I’m sexy, that I’m hot, so this is definitely the insecurity talking. But he fell in love with a skinny girl and now he’s marrying a not-as-skinny girl and I wonder if he’s disappointed. Like I faked him out.
I’m overreacting (today’s special: a SHOCKER!), I know. I guess I’m just disappointed in myself that I even bought Spanx, that I am so lazy that I would rather put on a body shaper than work out my young, lithe 26-year-old body and make it look the way I want it to look.
Maybe those $34.00 Spanx should just go unworn.
Clink, get your ass to the gym. Enough with the shortcuts.
Spanx are kind of awesome. Really. As long as they don’t do that annoying roll thing…you know what I’m talking about.
Spanx are new to me. Never heard of them. If you do end up unwrapping them and trying them out let us know if they really work!
But of course I am rooting for you to have the willpower to not take shortcuts (although I don’t blame you one bit!)
Right there with you. Two years ago, I was about 15 lbs lighter. It is barely noticeable to outsiders- I haven’t even skipped a pant size (thought that may have something to do with stubbornness), but I notice, and I know WH notices….
I’m working on it from the consumption side, but sadly, not from the exercise side.
Why is it that something that really isn’t that bad, that produces really good results, is so hard to do? To make time for, to make happen?
Also, re: Spanx- R used them for her wedding. They are miracle working garments, to be sure, but don’t wear them if you think you might need to draw a deep breath!
I am sure that he is not even the least bit disappointed. On any level, in any way.
That being said, the name “Spanx” is awesome.
I didn’t wear them when I found my wedding dress but I sure as shit wore them to my first fitting. Maybe incentive to lose wait. Maybe just making me feel better for not being as hot as I was when I started dating my M. I am squishy in places I never was either.
It sucks. But life often gets in the way of healthy eating and going to the gym. You’ll be fine. Just no more chick parm at lunch, k? baby steps…
spanx rule.
um hi, I own and wear a pair (that i NEVER tell anyone about) and OMG that girl? totally right!
I cannot BELIEVE what is does to my ass and thighs!
I makes a sexy dress look better, it makes going to an ex’s wedding worth it!
why am i admiting this? cause i’m annoymous.
(oh, and OM has threatened me to NOT loose weight boys, i think they actually like a real girl and not a stick…)
Well if you’re not going to wear them you can give them to me. I’ve always wanted to try them out.
And pu-lease. He loves you exactly the way you are. I bet he even likes you better now with the 15 pounds on you. And I’m sure you gained it mostly in your boobs anyway.
xoxo
I admit, I own them. My girlfriends and I throw a holiday cocktail party every year and we all try to shove ourselves into classy dresses every year. The spanx just make it a ton easier.
I went to Nordstrom and the Spanx were all sold out in Small and Medium and only available in large, XL and XXL. I was kind of confused, as I thought those sizes would be the ones that were sold out! I had to wear them with a bridesmaid dress and they were fabulous.
Not sure if they have Nordstrom Rack in NYC but you can find them there way cheaper in sizes S and M.
I echo your sentiments about gaining weight since beginning to date (and become engaged to) the love of my life. Remember, just cuz you’re engaged doesn’t mean M has to go through with it … if he’s sticking by your side, it probably means he really does love you, curves and all. Thanks for the Spanx eye-opener. Never heard of them and may need to invest in a pair myself!
I feel that way too. I wore size 0s and 2s when I met my boyfriend, and I feel bad that I’m not that small anymore.
I worked on Saturday and Sunday too so I feel your pain there. Also, I’m having chicken parm for dinner tonight so I feel your pain on that whole eating-healthy-is-hard thing as well. However, I have never bought Spanx. I do have to admit though that I have a biker-y short-y black undergarment that I may or may not have worn under a dress to a wedding that was also attended by the girl who dated TB right before me.
And also, you’re hot and you don’t need to lose weight. Especially when you can just put on a pair of magic tight undies and look two sizes smaller. I’m all about the easy way.
You should let us know when you wear them, I’ve heard rave reviews!!!
Last year when I had less money, I bought a Spanx knock off version at Target. I love ‘em. Soon, I’ll buy the real Spanx.
No need to be ashamed or embarrassed about it. Even celebs like Katie Holmes and Beyonce wear them.
I read your blog all of the time, but this is the first time I’ve commented (not that I haven’t wanted to before, but I’m a chicken, what can I say). I am still in the exercising-like-a-maniac stage of my relationship with my boyfriend (although we are ring shopping, yay me!) and I love my Spanx. They totally rock when you have a slinky dress to wear and your ass may or may not accidentally brush up against someone… if it does, the Spanks makes everything tight and firm! So, even those of us who hit the gym 6 days a week could use a little help and Spanks definitely delivers. ;o)
Spanx rock! I bought them when I was maid of honor at my sisters wedding and they really do a great job of sucking everything in. the only downside is that they are hard to get on and off (hence the crotchless part).
Anyway it is totally natural to gain some weight once you are in a serious relationship. It is so eay to do
You know that you have a good guy when they still love you anyway and tell you how sexy you are!! 
Spanx work wonders. You should at least try them before jumping to any conclusions. And it doesn’t mean you’re chubby if you wear them, just makes you smart.
Spanx? I am intrigued. Can you try them on before you buy them? Will look into it.
And eating like a guy? Mark can eat absolutely anything and everything in large quantities, including trans-fat-laden cupcakes and Chinese food, then sit on the couch for 4 hours watching a football game or two (go Pats!) on a regular basis and not gain an OUNCE. Me? My sweatpants would turn into spandex in about four minutes with that behavior.
And M loves you all the same - I guarantee he hasn’t noticed a thing.
Yup, with you on the weight gaining part. Eating boy food, skipping the gym, being happy…
I’m up 15-20lb on when I met P. I tend to blame work and marathons, but I do think the relationship factor is a big part of it.
Good luck- but take care and do the sensible weight loss thing- please?
Really? Spanx? Young hot blondes? Well hey! Give them a go and let us know!
Anyway: gyms are fun! gyms are fun! go clink go!
I am dying to know how the Spanx work. Everyone in LA seems to love them and I know tons of celebrities wear them under everything and swear by them. Try them!
I agree with Molly. I’m 15 lbs heavier than when I met B, but still every time I talk about losing weight because my awesome boobs will go away. Ahh, man’s logic. I’d rather have his eye. Because all I see when I look at my heavier self is ohmigod, look at my thighs, and my stomach and my ass, and ohmigod, have to quit looking!
I’m all for the shortcuts. I know thats bad. But hey, two sizes with one piece of miracle fabric? Do you know how many gym workouts two sizes are? and not eating all those good chocolate things. Oh man. Might have to go secretly to buy some Spanx.
spanx is such a great name. i am tempted to go out and buy some right now to squish down the wine weight i gained over the weekend.
I think it is very common to gain a little unwanted weight in a relationship. When you are around a guy that eats not only more food but more bad-for-you food it is easy to gain a little weight. Before my husband and I lived together I would eat cereal for dinner. Now I make home-made chicken pot pies and chicken parm because he loves it.
I think my husband probably knows that I’m not quite as firm as I was when we first started dating, but he wouldn’t change it for the homemade dinners and efforts that I take to make our house a home. There just isn’t as much time anymore and so the gym sometimes takes the backseat, he understands and still finds me sexy. Take comfort that M loves you- all of you.
Oh, I totally relate to this! J and I are both putting on the relationship weight. I should exercise, I should eat better, and of course, would love to be thinner, but…a part of me is just…happy. So THAT is what I try to focus on - not the number on the scale - but the fact that I am in a relationship and happy. (Easier said than done, of course…)
I’ve never tried Spanx but I have (young, hot) friends who swear by them, and I was definitely going to try them for the wedding. It’s not a replacement for the gym, but it’s a nice little additional tool, no?
I’ve seen sienna miller wearing spanx out by themselves and it’s the oddest thing, but holy shit, if it will take you down two sizes?! YES, PLEASE.
Truly, Spanx are amazing! They smooth everything out, suck everything in, and makes your clothes fit beautifully. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about! Try them!
Spanx are amazing. End of story, I dont care how thin you are.
The best of all are bridal spanx - you need to get them, best choice I made other then my husband!
Spanx? Um… I’ve been wanting to try them and now I have a reason! For..uh.. research! And blog material! Yes!
Spanx? Why do I not know what you are? I am going to google you right now. You think they exist outside of The U.S? (Also, I agree with Peter. Awesome name!)
P.S I am so happy that you’re still blogging!
Okay, diet/fitness/what-have-you advice (because I’ve already shared this with all my real-world friends): First, background–I’m about your height/weight, have a tendency to go all-or-nothing on the diet/exercise front, and also have a job that requires 12 (at least) hour days. But over the last couple months I’ve FINALLY lost the 10-15ish pounds I put on since moving to Philly two years ago. It’s not the gym. Wish it were, but I just don’t have the time right now, and I’m not willing to give up friends or sleep. It is the following: (1) plan out your next day’s worth of food beforehand (great to do during boring meetings the previous afternoon), including caloric content (figure out a reasonable target in order to lose weight–for me it was around 1600). (2) Make sure this includes eating every two hours! at least! Seriously, this is important–I would get into this mode where I’d be all “I can do it! I can go without food for eight hours!” which, yeah, good job Emily, you CAN do that, but then in hour 9 you eat an entire box of Cheez-its. So even if you’re not hungry, eat. And make sure you don’t just eat fruit and vegetables, because they don’t always make you not-hungry. If you know you always need carbs and fat at 10:30am (lord knows I do), then pack something with carbs and fat (for me, peanut butter and cracker). Finally, (3) BRING YOUR OWN FOOD TO WORK. It is annoying but makes SUCH a huge difference. Anyway, the OCD in me likes the planning-out beforehand (or during, on days when I have to wing it), and it really is sustainable, at least during the weekdays. I’m still working on figuring out the weekends. Good luck (to you and any other wanderers on the intertubes who come across this).
Well, I’m young and thin and I like to think I’m kind of hot and I wear Spanx and I think it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t just wear them for dress-up. I even wear them under casual sundresses and full skirts in summer because they keep my thighs from rubbing together. Yes, they’re tight, and I guess they’re basically a girdle, but I find them comfortable and I love the way I look and feel in them. Not every woman agrees, though. My sister feels she needs to wear them but she find them uncomfortable. You’ll just have to see for yourself.
How ever could you do this to me, where can I possibly find Spanx in Portugal?? That was cruel, have a care!
Shortcut, shmortcut. I’ve never heard of them until now, but I’m buying some Spanx tomorrow.
“And then it all went downhill as it does when you’re in love and happy and eating like a guy.” Amen. I used to be 112 pounds at 5′6″. I miss being a skinny bitch.
I’ve been trying to resist, but the temptation is too great. We don’t get Spanx here so I’m having my mom get me one. Okay, not one. Two. No, four.
Also, it sucks to actually come to terms with it, but your body really does change the closer to 30 you get. It’s not just something women say to let themselves off the hook. You can still be thin, but it gets harder to eat normal and work out 3-4 times a week and be skinny. Some of us who never have to worry now have to work really hard. I have slowly accepted this. Sort of.
woman i sincerely doubt that you are in need at all of spanx. but i love that you bought them.
maybe you can send them to moi? i’m sure i am much greater need of them than your sexy self.
Are the Spanx worth it? I was so tempted to buy them when I went on a rampage and bought, like, 13 pairs of tights. But I didn’t get the Spanx. Give us an update after you try ‘em out!
I feel the same way. I have never been a stick per say, but I definitely feel like I have put on some pudge at least since I’ve been with my boyfriend. He does the same thing and still says I’m sexy but man I want to feel sexy too. 24 Hour Fitness here I come!
My sister, another gorgeous and thin 23 year old, got some for halloween and they made her look amazing. She had the tiniest waste and didn’t look like she had any fat anywhere.
Girl, I didn’t mean it to sound like you’d actually DO that! I know you wouldn’t. You’re far to cool for that, right?
At any rate, Thanks for the comment.
spanx are awesome.
one year, i made a huge-really-bad-potential-disaster-error and never tried on a bridesmaid dress for a wedding i was in until 3 days before.
and it didn’t fit. wouldn’t zip by 3 inches.
but spanx made it fit. so i love spanx.
however, i’ve never worn them with pants. lemme know how it works.
This spanx sounds like something I might have to try….although it brings visions of me not being able to breathe. My weight fluxuates so much. At the beginning of this year? I was a mere 98 lbs, lightest i’ve been since THIRTEEN. Now? hahahahaha not so much anymore. it’ll go back down at some point, but i figure now that i’ve snagged myself a good guy that seems to be sticking around its better that he sees me now rather than when i’m at my tiny state. Then he wont’ be too disappointed when i inevitably fluxuate haha.
I have heard of Spanx before…i guess celebrities use them to look as fabulous as they do on the red carpet. This fact makes me feel a teensy bit better.
spanx.
God’s REAL gift to women everywhere.
i gotta get me some of these!!
Uh, hi, Clink? PUH-LEASE. You’re being a little annoying lately. Why would you be embarrassed to wear Spanx? Are you that perfect? Jeesh.
One other thing. You’ll sometimes hear that men think they’re not sexy. Not true! My boyfriend came right out and told me that he loves the way my rear end looks in them and he also loves the way I dress now that I’ve discovered them (I’m no longer afraid of clingy clothes and I’ve gone from dresses and skirts 30% of the time to dresses and skirts 80% of the time, he likes that, I do too). So don’t be afraid that men will find them a turn-off or cheating or anything like that.
SPANX rock! They kick my ass into a shape I want so while I go to the gym (cough cough) I can have my ass–to-be now..it’s a win win….
Ok, can you imagine right before sex you take off your clothes and you’re wearing something called Spanx? I mean, I’m sure M prefers you 15 lbs heavier and all. You still look great.