I have a crush on Anthony Bourdain.
One of my co-workers is eating lunch at 11am and it something pasta-y and tomato-y and I just want to dive over the desks and start shoving it in my mouth and wash it down with handfuls of parmesan cheese.
M and I got into a “heated debate” last night about some social issues and sometimes I forget that we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Forgetting is easier than acknowledging.
I’m going to a spinning class tonight with a friend of mine. I haven’t been to spinning in about two months. I’m terrified.
I had chocolate chips last night, a huge step in the right direction. I counted out exactly sixteen (because sixteen = 70 calories) and then felt terribly guilty about eating them, which means I still have a ways to go.
This weather makes me think “hmm, if I lived in California then I could have this all the time, and not just two random freak days in January.”
While exiting the subway this morning, there was a blind man in front of me. I was worried about him crossing the street, but I was hella late for work so I had to rush past him. I kept turning around to check on him, but I still felt really guilty that I didn’t stop to help.
I can be such a bitch. Example: I think most of the women I work with dress like they’re homeless but, on the plus side, it makes me feel like the cutest girl in the office.
I still haven’t tipped all of my doormen for the holidays. I can’t even look them in the eye when I walk in the building. I am such a procrastinator.
My dad and I haven’t been talking much lately, after a blow-up just before Christmas. Essentially: he spent $16,500 on a pair of earrings for my mother and I felt that a) he was buying her off for being such a workaholic and b) are you fucking kidding? That is a fucking ridiculous sum to spend on anything that is not an engagement ring and return them, IMMEDIATELY. I told him that she’d appreciate time with him more than flashy earrings. In sum: my family is not perfect.
M and I discussed living in another part of the world once he is officially a lawyer; I am all for it. I want to stock up on new experiences before we have children.
We received a Christmas card from the whore that M used to work with. The good: it was sent to his former address, meaning that she has no idea he moved because they haven’t been in contact at all. The bad: it was just addressed to him - she still pretends like I don’t exist; it stirred up a bit of the Crazy that I haven’t felt in quite a while.
I hate this job. I can’t wait to go back to my old boss in February.
Anything you want to confess?
I confess that I absolutely lurve you
And OMG I am in such a pasta mood right now.
It infuriates me when we get things from people who KNOW we’re engaged and yet still address them to just one of us. Even though I KNOW it’s irrational. You are definitely not alone there.
A girl in my office got an award for excellence. I work with her all the time and she is not excellent. In fact, she’s quite the opposite, but very subversive about it. It makes me want to rip her phone out of the wall.
Boy, this makes me sound like a nasty person, huh? But it’s also cathartic.
I have a mad crush on Anthony Bourdain as well. I loved the hours upon hours of Tony I had last night in fact. What is it about the drinking, smoking, wise-cracking, smart-assed guy that is so sexy?
And I feel you on the “opposite ends of the spectrum” issue. My boyfriend and I couldn’t be more politically different. However, we have agreed to the candidates from the opposing party whose rally we would be willing to attend. That’s a start, right?
Sure, thanks.
I’m trying not to hate my husband for not working. I love him, but I also look at him sleeping peacefully as I get up in the morning and think “GET UP YOU WORTHLESS BASTARD AND DO THE DINNER DISHES AT LEAST!”
I love him way too much to leave him, though, even if he really were a worthless bastard. Which I’m pretty sure he isn’t.
I haven’t paid my therapist in three months, and I don’t know why he continues to schedule appointments with me, but I’m super grateful.
My credit card bills aren’t getting paid this month, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay them again.
Only a few friends and even fewer coworkers even know he quit his job. Because I don’t trust them not to be cruel, and because I am ashamed of my husband.
Sorry, I’m in a really, really bad mood today. Probably not the day to ask for a confessional.
Funny you should write this. I decided this morning to confess something on my blog today. Stay tuned…
So did your dad end up giving your mom the earrings? How did she react?
I think we all have an inner bitch even if we try not to.
Why the love for Mr. Bourdain? Just curious.
Also, $16k on EARRINGS?! WHAT!?
That’s exciting that you and M may move to a different part of the world! Do it while you have the opportunity!
And who the hell eats lunch at 11am!?
lets see… i feel bad that i dont like hillary. it makes me feel disloyal, esp when i realize that my perception of her as conniving and manipulative was probably constructed by the genderbiases within the press
i still feel responsible for my little brother’s school and drug issues… like i should have watched out for him more the one year we overlapped in high school and could have stopped something.
Sass: Yes, he gave them to her and yes, she loved them. Once she found out how much they cost - she flipped out a bit. But she’s still keeping them (I can’t really blame her).
Stephanie: Ahhh, Mr. Bourdain. It’s essentially what Roselia said: the wise-cracking, smart-assed bad boy. I love his personality, I love his writing. He’s just cool as hell and it’s such a turn on. Plus, he can cook.
My confessions for the day:
-I still haven’t written thank you notes to the professors who did my grad school recommendation letters. It takes like 5 minutes. I’m just so lazy.
-Last night I spent like 45 minutes in the shower, obsessing about the weight I’ve gained, convinced that my boyfriend must think I’m disgusting, even if he’s never said anything to that effect.
-I couldn’t fall asleep because I felt guilty about wasting all of that water in the shower.
Surprisingly, I’m in a pretty good mood today, haha.
I’m pretty sure McD is seething mad at me right now, and he is being pretty decent, and I feel like a total schmuck.
I’m going denim shopping tomorrow. And I can’t afford it. And I don’t care.
I am about two solid billable hours behind on some research that needs to be finished tomorrow. And currently making no progress.
Oh, and ps? You ARE the cutest girl in the office. Duh.
I confess that my mouth is watering at the thought of chocolate chips.
I confess that my boss is seriously pissing me off today, even though there’s no reason for it.
I confess that I turned down sex with B last night just because I didn’t feel like having to do any sort of “work.” I played it off with a headache.
Confession: I am totally broke.
But I just spent my last $40 on a new purse.
And I’m reading blogs. At work.
I confess that after reading about the pasta that i CAN’T EVEN EAT stupid gluten intolerance, I want to hold hands with you and dive over the desk together and eat. it. all. This has nothing to do with the fact that I also just ate about a kajillion skittles.
Also, I heart you.
Confessions-
- I too have a warm space in my heart for Anthony Bourdain - loved the recent Canada episode where they ate raw meat on the kitchen floor.
- Started taking Ambien lately and it really is quite awesome - sleep is a strange new world when you can actually do it.
- Don’t like denim skirts on women. In fact, don’t like denim much at all.
UGH! I took a spin class last night for the first time in a long time and my lady bits may never be the same.
i also crush Anthony B,
unfortunatly, so does my BF… not quite sure what that means.
confession:
I told my boss that i put off applying to jobs in boston. I applied to one yesterday that if i got it would require me to be in boston by the second week in february. latest. I just really need to get out of DC
Anthony Bourdain = <3
Anthony Bourdain. Words cannot describe how I feel. He is just awesome.
My confessions for today:
We don’t have any plastic containers at home so I had to bring my pasta-based lunch in a plastic bag…and then I at it in the room with the developer while my film was developing because I was too embarrassed to eat my lunch out of a Ziploc bag in my office.
I told my boss we were out of a reagent that we in fact still have plenty of because the experiment I needed to do with it today is really tedious and I don’t have the patience for it today.
I have no motivation to get up for work and I’m a lazy ass.
Sigh.
I don’t feel any better.
Okay, I went to spinning last night for the first time in a month or so and holy hell- my whole body aches. Also, make sure to drink plenty of water because I’m pretty sure I’m dehydrated today and I feel like shit.
Alright, my confessions:
- I stole some chocolate from the kitchen at work today and took it home for TB.
- Since getting engaged a mere, oh, 60 hours ago, I feel the overwhelming urge to be more financially responsible (aka this thing thing called ’saving’ that I never seem to do) and also to lose weight.
- If I had an infinite supply of money and knew I’d never get fat and gross, I would totally eat at Taco Bell every day.
I feel bad that the NY primary is in less than a month and I STILL DON’T KNOW WHO TO VOTE FOR. I read TIME and newspapers and blogs, I just. can’t. decide. and it’s killing me.
As far as opposite ends of the spectrum go, though… my dad is a Republican and my mom is a liberal Democrat (in 04 she voted for Kucinich). This year’s their 30th anniversary. You and M can make it work! Plus your kids will grow up crazy informed about politics from dinnertime discussions… if not particularly decisive, hee.
I heart Hugh Laurie (from House) because he is a smart-ass bad boy type, but he saves lives. Er, well, his character does and, sometimes, I get them confused. I forgot to put him on my List, though.
Confession? I had a sex dream about a guy I am no longer seeing (or thinking about)… and if he called me today, I would probably answer, go out with him tonight, just to sleep with him. But just today… I’ll totally be sane again tomorrow!
I totally understand teh Anthony Bourdain thing….completely. He seems like a sensual man, all the weird foods, fearless journeys, etc. Any man that can cook a good meal tends to tug my heart strings. Speaking of jobs, I have a job interview today….hopefully i’ll be moving into abetter situation, hope you do too!
My bf got a Christmas card from some girl who used to work at his company, and I couldn’t help but get angry. I just joked about it with him, but seriously, who the hell sends random ex-coworkers Christmas cards when you don’t even work there?
Barbie’s Daily Confessions:
-i feel really, really guilty I didn’t send out xmas cards this past year.
-i hate that i still care about the asshat despite what he did to me.
-while i know i should be eating more, i can’t help but be happy i’m slipping into clothes that haven’t fit in awhile…
-…which makes me want to go shopping with money i don’t have.
-i’m probably more excited than i should be about my upcoming trip to see the rockstar.
Props to you for going to a spinning class. They usually make me hurt in places that are…um…not fun to be sore. love you lady.
PS- you ARE the hottest girl in the office. you ARE my blogging big sis.
My bf’s ex-gf that we call “the crazy one” post’s myspace comments. Especially when she sees one of mine. If I am his #1 and the last comment I left was ” I love you more than a fat kid loves cake” you would think thats a sign. Also this chick is knocked up 3 months into a relationship with the guy she is currently with. Why is she still commenting on my bf?
Yes, I know this is very high school. I am grown up - I swear!
Other Confessions:
I want something sweet to eat. This whole being healthy isn’t all its cracked up to be.
I am freaking out over little things and having panic attacks.
Fear overpowers excitement.
I fucked up real bad on something that I can’t even admit to yet.
I had (too much) deer meat for lunch.
I am listening to The Killers’ “Sam’s Town” right now and don’t care what anyone thinks.
I adore Mandy Moore.
I sometimes hate the shit out of blogging.
I confess I did absolutely nothing substantive at work yesterday, even though I am supposed to be writing the most important motion to our client’s case
I confess that even though I live in seriously the most fantastic place ever in a beautiful condo that I proudly own with weather that’s perfect 95% of the time, I still dream about moving to NYC and freezing cold in a rented apartment the size of my closet.
I confess that even though I give great advice to people, I hardly ever take it myself.
I confess that I wish I was 10-15 pounds lighter but I can’t seem to put myself on a diet because then I am afraid people will know that I value what I look like just as much and sometimes more than how smart I am.
I confess that I miss my sister, every second of every minute of every hour of every day.
$16500! holy. crap.
i confess that i may have seen the ex last night. and it may have been wonderful.
- I’m job hunting while my boss sits in her cube…right next to mine. I Alt-Tab my screen when I hear her chair squeak because that’s how I know she’s getting up.
- I read lots and lots of blogs at work =)
- I love spinning class. My boyfriend and I go twice a week and it makes me feel like a badass.
- I did not want to be polite to the overweight woman in my yoga class who was trying to give me advice on my eating habits. “You need to get some protein in your diet giiiiirl.”
- Hi, my name is Jessica and I’m an obsessive snooper. I can’t stop!!!!
I am beyond broke. Some of that is my fault, but most of it is because my law school is dragging their ass to give me my tuition refund so I can go buy food. Yeah yeah, I know what they say about having to pay the loans back, but right now I need to get food and pay my half of the rent. And go shopping for clothes.
I’ve been a lazy ass since my last final. Believe the hype, finals for the first semester of law school are just.. horrible.
Despite all the horridness of finals, I miss law school. Yes, it’s sad.
I ate three slices of Dominos pizza last night and I didn’t care. I ate a whole order of breadsticks this morning, and i still don’t care.
Would it be weird to say my eyes kind of lit up when I saw the words “Anthony Bourdain”? I saw my first episode of No Reservations the other night (why is it on Travel Channel? put it on a real channel already) and I absolutely freaked. He is awesome. Way more awesome than he is on Top Chef.
In fact, it was the episode where he was in Sichuan, China and he dared to say the phrase “skull-f**k” on television.
I confess that I have probably only done about 45 minutes of actual work today because I am in a crappy mood and the dreary weather depresses me.
I also confess that I just found your blog and I love it!
There was a blind man I saw all the time at my school last term. Everyday I saw him and I never helped him; I feel so bad. Part of me didn’t want to because he might be insulted or something, plus I was always running late for class. I’ve vowed that next time I see someone like that, I’m going to offer help.
- I would kill M if he spent 16k on some fucking earrings for me. Then I would return them, go on a shopping spree, and put some in savings
- I ate lunch today and feel really guilty and am having a hard time getting past it
-M and I are moving back to NYC sooner than planned and i have serious issues/guilt around spending what we are going to spend to buy something in the city.
- My shoes hurt so bad i could fucking scream. But they’re tres chic and I love them
- I am thrilled to try on my wedding dress again in February b/c I know that due to my eating issues it is going to look amazing
aaand that’s it. Oh and you rock. Seriously.
Confessions:
- I’m my brother’s gf’s boss and weeks before his 21st birthday (which she was forbidding him to go out and party) she took the wknd off. I saw the request off and threw it away. Therefore, I got to spend his birthday with him and she had to work. I’m a bitch right?
- my brother ate steamed veggies and chicken for lunch and I had a mt dew and funyuns. i feel disgusting.
- your blog is awesome and i think i have a slight blog crush. never stop writing!
I don’t know who this guy is you have a crush on, but, hey, I’m a guy, and I’m big enough to admit that you, Clink, were, in fact, my very first blog crush. Don’t worry about it though. I’m completely over you. I like you much better as my real friend.
i still haven’t sent out 2 thank you notes for my wedding and we are approaching the one year mark. i’m hoping those two couples will just not remember I haven’t sent it, so when it arrives they’ll be like “oh yay!”
i have late bills.
ugh.
-I am missing GDB terribly today.
-I can’t walk in pointy brown heels. At all.
-I’m secretly hoping that my new job gives me downtime so I can continue reading blogs at work, mixed with lots of busy busy busy so I’m not so aaaaaahhhhh.
-California is not really all that special. I like where I live, but New York is my love.
-I woke up far too early today. Possibly because I’m still feeling a bit depressed.
-I hate sharing food with F, especially when I know it’s something he wouldn’t eat normally, and it’s something I really want to have all for myself
-I don’t want to be fat for my wedding, but damn if I can bring myself to workout and give up the snacks
-I’m afraid since my sister is making my wedding dress, we’ll end up fighting the whole time because she is bossy
-I am way in credit card debt, and have gone out to lunch everyday this week
-I’m not as excited about my wedding as I think I should be
I’m also in love with Anthony Bourdain. But I’m even more in love with Michael Ruhlman. And his hair. I know, I know. Horrible.
I lovelovelove Anthony Bourdain! I read Kitchen Confidential years ago and was smitten with his badass self. I was a devoted Cook’s Tour viewer and when No Reservations came on, I was skeptical. But not anymore! The fact that he is now a dad and still totally badass makes him even hotter…
My more mainstream chef crush is Tyler Florence…
By the way, I’m shocked that The Food Network is running A Cook’s Tour again… especially after how public he is with his hatred for that channel (but I’m secretly glad that I get to see even more of him!)
16,000 on earrings!? That’s nuts, but I’m still a little jealous.
My confessions..
-I’m really desperate for a new job, really need the money, but my stupid pride keeps holding me back from going back to my old one, even though, duh- I need to
-I’ve been obsessing over paying for school and everything even though I really don’t need to be.
-I love my boy more than anything but don’t know how to tell him that moving in together this year is just not. going. to happen.
-I had to check who Anthony Bourdain was.. I thought he was some type of those weirdo magicians with the shows. Yeah, I’m an idiot. Ha!
-You were the first blog I started reading and got totally hooked! Made me start my own, really.
Check it out, it’s new so give me time
I love nostalgia music (Frank Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney, Herb Alpert). So do my grandparents, so that makes me about 80-years-old.
I want to wear a green dress as my wedding dress, but probably won’t.
I confess that a former co-worker died last month and I haven’t yet sent a condolence card because I have no idea what to say…”she gave great presentations”?
I confess that I think, for me, it does matter more where I am than who I’m with.
I confess that while writing this just now, I have the lines from a pivotal scene in Dangerous Beauty on a loop in my head.
And yeah, I occasionally want to offer my co-workers unsolicited style/grooming advice too. Particularly the one who should wax her upper lip.
Forgetting is definitely easier; tip your doormen now NOW; well families are not supposed to be perfect, but wait what? on earrings?…wow…and it has been raining down on california for last three days…sucks!!!
They have earrings that are that expensive? WTF?!
You hate your job? Discuss!
Also, why is it that people in our industry dress like homeless women? You would fit in my office though!!!
XO
Wow, 16.000 on earrings. I would definitely have the same feelings as you and say “Take those back!!”
And good luck at spinning, I’ve been going recently and it kicks my ass every time…but in a good way.
My confession of the day…I just want to read blogs all day and not do any work…is that bad?
I confess that I heart you.
And you’re awesome.
Oh wait, that’s not a confession. That is very well known.
That is all.
When Will asked to stay up late tonight, I told him that he already had.
And it was 7:15 p.m.
But I’m single mom tonight, and he had no nap—and I was done for the day. So he was, too.
I love Anthony Bourdain, too.
When I saw a comment from you, one of my very favorite bloggers, I got a huge grin and felt like doing a little happy dance. I remember telling my boyfriend awhile back that if I lived in NYC we would totally be friends because you are awesome. I swear I’m not a stalker and I don’t own an axe! OK, enough with the gushing.
I’m in love with Anthony Bourdain too. So is my 55 year old boss; he’s a man that spans generations.
I confessed that I tricked my 9 year old brother into making a bad move in a battle in a computer game so that my 5 year old brother would beat him. I feel SOOOOO bad
This:
“I can be such a bitch. Example: I think most of the women I work with dress like they’re homeless but, on the plus side, it makes me feel like the cutest girl in the office.”
made me laugh. I love it! Sometimes I think the same thing, and I feel so guilty. But seriously, it ain’t that hard to dress up, you know?
I confess that I have the opposite problem with food as you. You and I share an important date in July, and rather than taking a healthy approach to my eating habits, I’ve been rebelling and stuffing my face to ease the stress. Sigh.
ok it would be so so awesome to live somewhere different in the world before kids. GO FOR IT lady!!
also, i uh, secretly resent this girl at work (kinda) for being so damn well put together with all her lovely GUESS clothes everyday. I mean, I don’t think I look that good, and man, IIII want to be the cute one!
Yes, travel! And you are right to be angry with your father about that gift - seriously?
Confessions:
I didn’t go to the gym today because I got drunk on a Monday night NOT watching a football game but playing bar trivia instead.
I’ve recently had thoughts about leaving my job, but I do really like my job.
When I was dating A, I swallowed a piece of beef after he insisted that I try some. I was a guilty vegetarian for awhile after that and still haven’t told my roommate (another veg) even though it was over a year ago.
Also, thanks for your email lady!
I dropped out of university because I was had lost my semi-control over my panic attacks. Now I tell everyone that I’d decided I didn’t like the course and will go back when I figure out what I want to do.
Even though my (loving & supportive) family’s unspoken judgement is unbearable, just thinking about going back makes my throat tighten.
Confessions:
-I miss school, and I want to go back and get my Masters…but I’m afraid of the work and the no paycheck thing is kinda intimidating as well.
-I want a lil puppy in the worst way and I am totally trying to convince H that we need one.
-Everyone is saying that I may be pregnant and it scares the bejesus out of me…although I am married, I don’t feel ready for kids yet.
-I wish H and I traveled more.
I’ve eaten an entire package of shredded cheese–by myself– in the last 2 and a half days. Gross.
i confess:
- that i read your blog often
- that i don’t accomplish much at work
- that, like daily editor, i’m a total emotional eater. i’ve been eating everything in sight for 3 days, so now it’s time for me to dig down and figure out what’s “eating” me inside!
- that i wish my long-time boyfriend would hurry up and propose already!
I confess that life is not always as pretty as I say it is. That life is changing as I speak and I’m ok with it.
PS - Anthony is bad ass. I love bad ass. Part of my change is this.
- I have tons of work to do at work, but instead I’m commenting on your blog at work.
- I haven’t worked out in . . . months. I haven’t gained weight, but my muscle tone is GONE. I have to start again, but I keep putting it off.
- I hate my mother’s present to me this year. In fact, I hate it every year. She gives me amazingly bad stuff, and it makes me feel really, really bad, because I know she tries. At best, she hits on something I might have liked at 11 or 12 years old. It makes me feel so guilty. I pretend to like it, but then she gives me more. I show lukewarm enthusiasm, but then she’s hurt and still gets me something bad the next year, its just a different kind of bad. I give up.
Just my 2 cents: You have enough going on - don’t tie yourself in knots over overpriced earrings. It’s your dad’s money, to spend however he wants, and your mom’s present, to accept or to return however she sees fit. They’re grown ups and presumably no longer supporting you; it’s their business; let them handle it. Your parents are helping you pay for a beautiful NYC wedding - something they don’t technically have to do - so just be grateful for the money they’re spending on you and let it go when they spend too much on each other. You’ll be happier if you don’t waste emotional energy on it.
I have credit card debt. I’m working on it, but compared to my very fiscally responsible fiance, I feel like a loser. I feel worse when he offers to pay it off for me.
I’m scared to try on wedding dresses because I’m scared I won’t fit into the samples.
I’m afraid that planning a big expensive wedding will become a bone of contention between me, my parents, and my fiance.
My fiance wants to get married at City Hall, but I don’t want to regret not having a big wedding.
I don’t want to disappoint my parents by buying an apartment in a neighborhood they don’t like.
I count weightwatchers points all day at work and then go home and eat with reckless abandon.
Every night, I set my alarm clock for 7 a.m. to go to the gym, but sleep until 845 and then get to work 20 minutes late.
I’m such a mess
I confess that I am quitting my job without having any kind of back up planned and that I am terrified to tell my parents (as they would be beyond ashamed of me for being so irresponsible). I have credit card debt that needs to be payed down and other $$ related responsibilities. I have also resorted to, as of last night, counting all the change in our 6 change jars with complete intentions of cashing them in to help pay off something.
my mother stopped talking to me back in November, yet again, because I don’t sign my e-mails, “love”…my life has been much calmer and less anxious without her in it.
I confess that I’ve been staring at this for far too long trying to think of something and coming up blank. Oh, wait. I confess that I gave up spinning because it hurt my crotch. There. I said it.
Check this out! Someone at the AV Club must love you: http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/anthony_bourdain
Confession: I have blog commenting anxiety and feel like I can only “justify” commenting if I have a link or some knowledge to add to the discussion.