It’s like she was reading my mind or something. February 1, 2008
One of the most amazing parts of this line of work is that I get glimpses into the lives of people that I would mostly likely never come across otherwise.
Like, say, a psychic/witch/medium soccer mom. You know, for example.
In a last stab at saving my reputation at this place before I pack up my things and trek back to my comfort zone, having seen a distant land and found it entirely uninhabitable, I have thrown myself into a certain project and this certain project has turned up the individual mentioned above.
My friend turned coworker about to be turned just friend again and I met her for coffee yesterday and, in the middle of a Starbucks, she offered to give us a reading. My friend was much more hesitant, all “gah, I don’t know if I want to know anything about my future!”
And of course I was all “gah, TELL ME EVERYTHING.”
Because, as you well know, I am a narcissistic bitch.
And by the end of the reading I was actually shaking, and not because of the caffeine.
She started by saying something to the effect of “sweetheart, your relationship is near-perfect. It is strong and he loves you and please stop trying to mess it up. You’re only hurting yourself. You’re bringing all of this on yourself…for no reason. Just believe in it.”
I wanted to respond with, “oh, you mean stop doing things such as turning something as simple as a missed call into him cheating on me? Oh, okay.”
She just…knew. She just knew that, at times, I can start building a destructive wall that closes me in and keeps him out. And I need to stop doing it. Pronto.
We moved on to wedding stuff. She said she felt a low-level conflict between me and my mother that happening recently or was currently happening. Which, fine, she could tell by the rock on my left hand that I was getting married and who doesn’t have some sort of low-level conflict with their mother during wedding planning?
And then she said - I shit you not - “the brown is a good idea, you will be happy with it, and your mother has accepted your decision. In fact, she respects you for standing your ground because, in a way, it reminds her of herself.”
My friend looked at me with wide eyes because just recently I had told her about the fight I had with my mother about brown being a “FREAKING FINE COLOR FOR SUMMER, MOM” and how I hated that this disagreement between us was bothering me so much.
Also, she’s right about my mom. My mom is a Leo and she is stubborn and strong-willed and never quite understands why I can never make decisions or why I let the opinions of others influence me. She always says I am my father’s daughter but, in standing my ground against quite a few people telling me they weren’t crazy about my choice, I think she was ultimately happy to see that a piece of her made it into my DNA.
The psychic wrapped up the reading by grabbing my hand and telling me to take care of myself. “I mean it.” She said she kept hearing fast clicking noises and that the pace of my life is gaining momentum and that I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others, otherwise I’m headed for an emotional breakdown (me? Perfectly stable and in control of her emotions me? Naw. Couldn’t be.)
“Kind of like when, on an airplane, they tell adults to put the oxygen masks on themselves first before assisting the children.”
And then, because she went and brought up an AIRPLANE and how could I not, I mean, I’m going to both Vegas and Miami in the span of three weeks in May…I asked her if I was going to die in a plane crash.
Most of you will be happy to hear that the answer is no. That is not how I am going out.
I think I am a bit too willing to believe in this stuff and I know that when I tell M about it he’s going to be all “those people are all sheisters, it’s essentially one big magic trick.”
To which I will reply something along the lines of “I am the yin to your yang, darling. Our energies balance each other, thus making us a perfect match” or something else that will further piss him off. Because he’s cute when he’s annoyed.
See? The brown is great!
I’d love to have a reading done, but I’m afraid that I’d read into every little thing and drive myself bonkers.
…I wanted to respond with, “oh, you mean stop doing things such as turning something as simple as a missed call into him cheating on me? Oh, okay.”…
Hysterical. This is me, to a T. Though with my recent change in attitude, I’m getting better. But, oh lord, I hear you on that one.
Do you have this womans number? I would really like to know what is in store for me.
Brown is lovely. I’m brown…and I’m lovely! So I say good choice!
My mom and I are in te middle of a wedding related fight and it sucks. Hopefully it will end soon. I wish my mom could chanel Molly’s mom sometimes.
anyway, happy friday lady!
Ooh, I’ve always wanted a reading. But I am seriously terrified that they’ll tell me I’m going to die in like half an hour. it’s like I’m tempting fate.
But way to go awesome news for you! yay!
wow. her knowing about the brown color being an issue with you and your mom is sort of… well creepy. how do they know this stuff?!
so weiiiirdddd… this is why I’ve never had a reading done, because I’m totally scared of what they’d say.
Your planned response to M is perfect. Do you think you’ll be less scared of flying now?
I’m not necessarily a believer in psychics, but, a friend of mine went to one here in Chicago. And the things this guy knew about was frightening. Not stuff you can just read from someone’s clothes or jewelry. Hopefully your visit will alleviate some of your fears of flying!
Oh my lord. I’ve always wanted to see a psychic, and it sounds like it was an amazing experience for you!
I think brown is a great color for a wedding - it’s flattering on almost everyone! Also, I think it’s awesome that she was able to help you feel a little more at peace with things. Even if she is a “sheister,” if you feel better that’s the important thing.
Personally, even though I’ve never dared to go, and I insist I don’t believe in that kind of stuff, I would love to see what they have to say. Unfortunately, the one psychic that I knew of in this town closed up shop and they tore her house down. Sad.
I don’t really believe in that stuff, yet would be wigged out if one tried to tell me my future.
I can’t believe you didn’t ask her about the Super Bowl though!
I had a similar experience with my masseuse, she touched my heart and opened my eyes. How and why this happens amazes me.
But, I reach out now. Because, I often have that same missed call issue. I don’t know why I do that to myself? Do I like picking on myself? Do I hate not being able to control? Am I afraid of loosing him? I’m still trying to figure that out.
XOXO to you.
Phew. I’m so glad you’re not going to die, you narcisstic bitch.
wow, i am a huge sucker for this stuff. meaning i always WANT to do it but never sack up.
and i think the brown is awesome. for the record.
Brown? How did she know about the brown? Seriously? I’d of been shaking too!
And I agree with Molly.
i have to say, i’m always a little skeptical about this stuff too. ok, a lot skeptical. but that thing about brown is freaky.
and the last part about M made me laugh out loud.
I’ve always wanted to have a reading. I am skeptical but believe at the same time. I think too many are fake and give others a bad name. Obviously, she saw something if she knew the color was brown!
Creepy that she mentioned the brown! I always want to say all these people are fakes, but part of me still believes in magic.
I so want to talk to a psychic. My mom does it all the time when she goes on work trips, and inevitably she’ll come back and ask, “You’re not pregnant, ARE YOU??”
this made me really happy to read…and i really want to speak with her. happy weekend darling.
xo, bb
Heh, that’s a funny way to annoy M!
And, all in all, that’s an awesome reading to get. Although I am not any sort of psychic, I second the whole “take care of you” thing. Just like Julia Roberts and that other prostitute Kit used to say in “Pretty Woman”:
Take care of you!
I’ve always wanted to have a reading too except the practical side of me thinks it is a waste of money. I would totally be stoked for a free reading though!
I love this stuff.
Ooo, how eerie! I’ve always wanted to go to a psychic but I’m a little scared of what they would say.
Have a great weekend!
I have to confess that when I was younger, I loved horoscopes and always wanted to visit a psychic.
Even though I fully realize they are probably totally full of crap. I still pass by those “psychic readings” signs and think for about one nanosecond how I really want to throw away $40 so this woman can tell me all about my future!
I must say that brown is a perfectly LOVELY color for your wedding. Don’t let them deter you at all!
I’m a sucker for this stuff too. I don’t know how much truth there is in it all… but, it’s still fun. Happy weekend!
Wow! All of the other stuff is pretty general, but knowing about the brown thing is pretty crazy!!! And just so you know I wore a gorgeous brown dress with a champagne sash as a bridesmaid in a friends wedding (during the summer!) and people LOVED it. It will be beautiful.
i like magic tricks.
Ohh wow thats so eerie! I would love to have a reading done to see whats in store but at the same time I don’t know if i’d actually want to know. I had my handwriting analyzed once, but the predictions were all so off that I’m kind of skeptical about getting further analyzed. But if your lady wants to call me up I wouldn’t object!
Have a great weekend lady! xoxo
I’ve been to two psychics. The first one was spot on and creepy and eerie. The second one told me that she saw me getting married around 30, but she wasn’t sure if it was going to be a guy or a girl. Seeing as my girl-on-girl experience is relatively limited to above the chest…I somehow doubt that.
GDB would get annoyed with the yin-yang comment too. And I would totally do it, just for the same reason.
Maybe any brown/pink naysayers should check out this site: http://pinklovesbrown.com? I’ll parrot everyone else and say I;m a fan of palm readers/astrology/chakras, too.
Dude! That’s amazing! Where can I find this lady??? Have a fab weekend honey
I love a good psychic. Creepy that she knew about the BROWN!
I’m very curious about the people that choose to do that for a living. If it’s a scam, it’s a scam but the ones who truly believe in their “power” and know full well that most sane people think its a load of BS but choose to proceed anyway? Now that’s balls. Also, crazy.
I saw a psychic not too long ago, and it’s a little creepy, no? She told me things that hit very, very, VERY close to home. It was amazing. In fact, she told me that my life will be “impacted” by the number 7. And so far? She’s right. From major events happening on the 7th day of the month, to my new office at my new job being #7, to my mailbox at our new townhouse being #7, and on and on and on. I’m sure it could just be coincidence, but… Yeah, I heart psychics.
Peter: Even a psychic knows not to pick against the Patriots.
Clink: did she mention what an amazing time you’re going to have next weekend?
OMG she was spot on with her brown comment. That’s kindda creepy….
Can I have her number I’d like to know what feeds my yin? what pulls my yang? You know, the regular stuff…
Did you blog about a fortune telling before? I have a sense of deja vu about this.
After all these years, I still get my horoscope emailed to me everyday. Some days, I even believe it (when it’s good news, anyway).
“I wanted to respond with, ‘oh, you mean stop doing things such as turning something as simple as a missed call into him cheating on me? Oh, okay.’”
I laughed so much. Why do we do that to ourselves?! I wish I knew…that way I could stop it!
That is really creepy (in a good way
) that she knew about the brown for the BM dresses.
I’ve always wanted to visit a psychic but am always too fearful of getting a scammer. I wouldn’t even know how to go about finding a legit one.
My sister-in-law had us wear the same color BM dress that you picked. It was a little more formal (floor length), and at first, I was horrified. I was all, “Brown dresses next to black tuxes? Has she gone mad?” But in the end, I loved it. It looked so classy and put-together, and the pictures came out looking amazing.
So, I think the brown is a great choice. And when you think about it, you’re having a city wedding, so it’s not going to be on the water near a beach or in a grassy meadow somewhere. It will look as pretty as you picture it!
Not to burst anyone’s bubble but…my son’s wife picked brown for her wedding last September and it’s going to be one of the colors at my daughter’s wedding in June this year.
Brown is rather popular right now, so if she knew that, it would be easy to toss it in and if she were wrong, you’d dismiss it, like you no doubt dismissed other stuff she said that wasn’t spot on but if she were *right*, oh boy.
So I’m still the skeptic. But I can totally understand why it freaked you out.
That is pretty cool - my coworkers and I have been trying to get a group together to go to psychic, but we haven’t followed through yet. You have motivated me to get that together - I am so interested in this stuff.
I’m a raging skeptic who means no offense…but it sounds like the psychic lady read your blog before meeting you. In order to fool people, you gotta do your homework…and everything you mentioned she referenced can be easily looked up in your previous posts.
Also, as far as I know, licensed psychics are prohibited by law to tell paying customers the circumstances of their death.
And I agree, brown is totally fine for any season…its virtue is that it is a good color to bring out physical features like eye and hair color.
i, too, would have jumped at the chance to have my palm read.
and probably would have put way too much stock into it.
Lord, Clink, you’re a fracken riot! I absolutely adore your sense of humor
There’s a lot of these psychics in India, where I’m from. So, yeah, I do know a bit of what’s in store for me, but I’m more like your M in this respect; all sheisters, these people.
I went to a psychic once and only believed in the positive stuff - although the downs were kinda universal ( just like your conflict with your Mom due to wedding stressors) I am happy to hear that your love life rocks - as it should!! Brown is a fab choice!
Ive always wanted something like that to happen to me. Damnit. Maybe I’ll run into a psychic to to help me sort some shit out.
I’m soooo cynical about things like psychics, horoscopes, etc. I would have titled this post “It’s Like She Was Reading My Blog or Something.”
I cheated on my bf one night and happened to get introduced to a psychic the next day. She took one look at my face, immediately asked to see a photo of my bf, and said, “he’s the right one for you, but how can you keep it going if you play around all the time?”
Talk about being unceremoniously slapped.
So Clink,
How excited are you that the Giants won the Superbowl? I’m thinking M was a little bit grumpy today, no?
very woo woo and amazing at the same time. I’m a believer!
oh my god - i’m a total sucker for that stuff too! even though i say i don’t believe it - once i see these people in action - i become a total believer.
did you ever watch that Lisa Williams show on lifetime? good stuff!
and how about those giants clink!
how was that with M on sunday night?!?!
go g-men!
You are hysterical, dear. Honestly, I love the paranoia. I always wondered how these “magic tricks” work. I’ll have to write about my experience with the psychic one day.
Don’t really believe in the psychics either but I think a couples session would be a fun Valentine’s Day trip, on a full belly after several glasses of wine of course. What are they going to say but sweet positive things on the Hallmark holiday?!